It seems as though I've been doing a lot of hurrying these days. Yesterday, I got most of the gifts wrapped, did 3 loads of laundry, decided what clothes I was giving to the church clothing barn, delivered dinner to a sick friend, came home, fixed my computer and went to bed around 11:30. Today, I'm finishing up chart review, cleaning the office, writing instructions for the person who's filling in for me, going home, cleaning, doing more laundry, and baking cookies and a cake for the Christmas party on Saturday. Friday, I think I can relax, but I'm probably just fooling myself for the moment.
I used to wonder why my parents got so stressed around the holidays. Christmas seemed to take forever to get here. Now I know. I have just about two weeks to get everything straightened up, and so I'm rushing around like a madwoman. There is a rational part of me that's saying "slow down!," but I'm not exactly inclined to listen.
I understand full well that this season commemorates the birth of Christ. As a believer, I try very hard to put commercialism on the back burner and turn a deaf ear to all the ads that scream at me about all the stuff I need to accomplish a memorable holiday. I truly hope that no one is expecting that one spectacular gift to come from me, but I do feel that it is my obligation in this season most of all to be present and joyful. It's my way of making restitution for those Christmases in years past when I was so miserably unhappy and worried everyone sick.
It is this time of year that I can really, truly see the work that the Atonement of Christ has done in my life. Where once there was sickness and sadness, there is health and joy. The dark, cold days still bother me, but not nearly as much as they used to. I am productive; my life has become meaningful and immensely happy. I am so grateful this week to be able to provide service as a Relief Society member and as a friend, and am looking forward to making dinner for my husband and helping him make his favorite cookies this evening. To be honest, hurrying around and keeping busy keeps my mind off the fact that there are STILL 17 days until Christmas. :)
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