Saturday, January 21, 2012

Beginning Another Chapter

Well, here it is.  Just when I begin to feel comfortable and relax, Heavenly Father shakes my snow globe.  I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was interviewing for a job.  It was 6 hours away, half an hour out of my hometown.  I didn't think anyone would take me seriously, and to be honest, I was surprised to be asked for an interview.  There was a second interview over the phone a week later, and it was here that I considered "wow, this must be more competitive than I thought."  A week after that, one day after my thirtieth birthday, I got a very apologetic call from the girl who interviewed me.  She said she had known that I was right for the job the day of my first interview, but she had so many other interviewees, she didn't think it was right to offer it to me right away.

She should have.  It would have done wonders for my anxiety these past few weeks.

Here I am, getting ready to pack up enough clothes for a month and help my husband winnow my things a bit.  Clothes that don't fit, no matter how much I love you, you are going to the clothing barn for someone else to wear and feel awesome.  That includes you, wedding dress!

There have been approximately four times in my life where I have directly felt the hand of God.  This is one of those times.  (For those of you who are interested in the other three, they were joining the Church, meeting my husband, and moving here.)  It has been very difficult until recently to see the blessings I have here in Michigan.  I recognize that my ward family here loves me like crazy, and not just because I'm Chris' wife.  I'm thankful for my mother-in-law who gets my jokes, keeps me company when I am lonely and is gentle with my sometimes incomprehensible sadness, loving me through it as my own mother has done so many times.  I'm thankful for the friends I have here who have helped me become a better version of myself than I could have ever hoped to be on my own.  I am thankful to be so near a temple, wherein I can do the Lord's work.  I have been so blessed to be a worker there, and I am grateful for the experiences of all-encompassing grace I have had within its walls.

Now it's time to stretch and see how capable I have become.  I know that being here has prepared me for something amazing, and I feel much the same as I did when emerging from the waters of baptism.  Anything at all is possible. 

Savior, may I learn to love thee,
Walk the path that thou hast shown,
Pause to help and lift another,
Finding strength beyond my own.
Savior, may I learn to love thee—
Lord, I would follow thee.

 Who am I to judge another
When I walk imperfectly?
In the quiet heart is hidden
Sorrow that the eye can’t see.
Who am I to judge another?

Lord, I would follow thee.

I would be my brother’s keeper;
I would learn the healer’s art.
To the wounded and the weary
I would show a gentle heart.
I would be my brother’s keeper—

Lord, I would follow thee.

Savior, may I love my brother
As I know thou lovest me,
Find in thee my strength, my beacon,
For thy servant I would be.
Savior, may I love my brother—

Lord, I would follow thee.  

Text: Susan Evans McCloud, b. 1945. © 1985 IRI
Music: K. Newell Dayley, b. 1939. © 1985 IRI
Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, #220

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