tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36663243718324015742024-03-18T22:59:15.844-04:00SelahAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-65951186100215824002014-05-30T11:34:00.002-04:002014-05-30T14:13:43.860-04:00I Want to See What You SeeI would like to be someone else. A different version of me, with the same sweet, handsome husband; same beautiful baby girl... I want to see something different when I look in the mirror.<br />
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I hate mirrors, because all I see in them are my flaws. I see the uncooperative hair that hangs to my shoulders, limp as a dishrag and red as a stoplight, thanks to a poor dye choice on my part. <br />
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I see the high forehead, a reminder that I was born with too much cerebrospinal fluid. For years, I believed my mom when she told me that it was because I was so intelligent. When I found out the reality, that the plates of my skull had expanded under the pressure of CSF, I cried. I was 22.<br />
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I see the left eye that crosses if I am the least bit tired, that everyone who meets me points out at least once, as though they are the first to notice.<br />
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I see the discolored crack in my front tooth where it was repaired after part of it was knocked out. <br />
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I see the moles on my neck that I hate, even though I can't find the courage to have them removed. <br />
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I see the weight that I gained when, as a curvy 15-year-old, old men started acting like stupid boys, and boys my age didn't know how to act. <br />
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I see the scars... some from lifesaving surgeries, one from the c-section that gave me Charlotte (I love that one!) and others that I inflicted upon myself, angry that I wasn't the girl I wanted to be. <br />
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For the last 20 years, I have hated what I see when I look in the mirror. That's no way to live, and that's no way to teach my daughter how to love herself. For the next thirty days, I will post something every day that I love about myself. Maybe by the end of June, I'll start seeing the girl my husband fell in love with, or the young woman my mother-in-law loves as her own. In any case, I hope I start to see someone I can like a little more. <br />
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Day 1: I adore my baby girl. She is the best part of me, and every day I am amazed that I made this beautiful little human being in partnership with my husband and Heavenly Father. <br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-31220666860366794802013-09-30T05:11:00.000-04:002013-09-30T05:11:59.105-04:00Pregnant Pauses: A Thank You to my HusbandOur girl, Charlotte Emmellyn McGinnis, is due on Valentine's Day. Appropriate, I think, for the child we have loved and prayed for almost as long as we have loved each other. Ever since I have gotten pregnant, my husband Chris has become even more gentle and caring, something I had no idea was possible. And yet, there was a subtle shift when that second line appeared, and it grew even stronger as the days went by and I was wracked with morning...afternoon...evening sickness, IV fluids, and a lack of self-esteem so deep, I yearned to hide somewhere. I could imagine coming out when the pregnancy was over, holding my yowling child over my head like a victorious warrior woman, presenting her to the world like a magnificent gift. <br />
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Alas, I am not so strong. I need to be held and soothed, snuggled and taken care, nourished and sometimes (okay, many times) put up with as I ask my beloved for the millionth time if I'm still pretty. I hear these words coming out of my mouth, and I want to take them back, but it is always too late. And so I wait, feeling injured, as I hide my face from this man who loves me far more than I deserve. He never gets exasperated, he only pulls me close and tells me I am beautiful, I am loved, I am safe, and I will never not be so. In that moment, I believe him. I know there will come several more moments of insecurity before my hormones return to normal, but I am not afraid. He will speak this truth to me as often as it's needed. <br />
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Over the weekend, I mentioned that he should consider a career as a doula. I figured he has been an immense help to me since I got pregnant, and there is no shortage of single moms-to-be who could use some comfort. I imagined, I suppose, that he could be a sort of stand-in husband to these women in their hour of need, giving out back rubs, ice chips, and coaching them to breathe as they fight to bring their children into the world. Upon further research, however, we found that even after a few thousand years, this is still a predominantly female profession. Fine. I get to keep him all to myself then! <br />
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Last night as I climbed into bed, Charlotte started her nightly salsa dancing. As Chris leaned in to tell her goodnight, and how much we love her, she delivered a kick that felt like lightning. Several more followed, taking my breath away. "Let me OUT!" they seemed to say, "I want my DADDY!" The thought made me laugh. As a preemie of over three months, I wondered if a similar idea had entered my head before I made my early entrance. I rubbed my belly and sent calming thoughts to this girl who has become the center of our universe. I cautioned her to stay put and keep growing. As much as she might want to meet us now, it's simply not the right time.<br />
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I consider how lucky I am. I am bound by eternal marriage to a man who has wanted children for as long as I've dreamed of horses. The adoration I see on his face astounds me, to her for simply being, and to me for being her vessel into this life. It's a beautiful thing. <br />
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To my husband: I love you, and I always will. Thank you for loving me and taking care of me. You are my best friend and my eternal companion; there isn't anyone else I'd rather have by my side. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-87447611498250190172013-08-08T18:17:00.001-04:002013-08-08T18:17:17.841-04:00Ending the Search for Unattainable Beauty...Ever since I've gotten pregnant (YAY!!!!!!!!), I've taken a serious look at how I treat myself. For most of my life, I have felt frumpy, chubby, scarred, and unattractive, and because of these feelings, I haven't always been kind to myself. <br />
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Because I don't want my child to ever struggle with self-acceptance the way I have, to the point of trying to end my life, I'm ending The Search. Today, I organized all of my nail polishes and makeup, getting rid of some things I've never worn, or don't like. After counting my 18th lip gloss, I realized that I had a little bit of an addiction. It seems fun and harmless, and to be honest, it really is fun until I sit down some days later and consider why I've bought yet another lip gloss, nail polish, eyeliner, or perfume. <br />
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The reason behind it, for me, has dark roots. It's because I'm looking for something transformative. Something that will make me a better me, a different me... or maybe not me at all. But no matter how hard I try or how much money I spend, I still see me in my mirror.<br />
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And that's got to be okay.<br />
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Yes, I am frustrated that I am so overweight. It sucks to be tired all the time. But ever since I've felt this little person start to grow, my body has begun to symbolize something else. By turns, I am intimidated and awed by the fact that there is a human being growing inside of me, a son or daughter of God who has chosen me to be their earthly mother. <br />
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Somehow, this pregnancy is forcing me to accept myself for the way I am, not the way I want to be someday. Because of it, I can see past the scars. I can curl up under the covers and sleep like a contented cat, soft and warm. I can wrap my arms around my stomach and imagine what a comfort it will be for this child to have somewhere soft to snuggle, remembering the last time I hugged my soft, beautiful Mamma.<br />
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I still have a long way to go, but I'm amazed at the progress I'm making. This life is good and sweet, despite the fact that I'm not the weight I want to be. I will get there someday. Many of the scars I bear are evidence of a life saved; I'm learning to rejoice in them. Without them, I wouldn't be here. And while I see "frumpy," my husband sees "sexy librarian." There are far worse things to be. <br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-12318187164741242382013-05-21T01:07:00.003-04:002013-05-21T01:11:21.504-04:00Carriage Driving Circuit Training: Finding Joy in the JourneyThere are so many things I'd like to talk about! That's what happens when I only write once a month. For one thing, I finally found a job. As of now, I am a ground manager/driver-in-training for a small carriage tour company in Frankenmuth. I love the work, and I've lost at least five pounds since I started from climbing up in the carriage, getting down from the carriage, grooming horses, hauling water, wiping down the carriage, scrubbing equipment... It's amazing. When we get out to Utah, I'll have a whole other skill set I can use to market myself to potential employers... and I'll be buff! <br />
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I have had the incredible good fortune to befriend the owners of Black Dragon Farms Friesians, and through them, I am free leasing my dream horse, a beautiful mare named Vesper, who instantly befriended me and started me on a wellness journey. It's primarily because of her that I've had any kind of success so far. I wish I would have considered long ago all the horses I could be riding (and riding better!) if there were less of me to get in the way. <br />
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I've thrown the word "can't" out of my vocabulary, with the exception of the following: "I've never done that before, but I can't wait to try!" Aside from one or two small setbacks these last few weeks, I've noticed a few things:<br />
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I feel stronger physically, emotionally, and mentally. <br />
When I think of myself, it's often in positive terms. This is new!<br />
For the first time in my life, I feel as though I have a lot to offer.<br />
Because my employer and the owners of BDF believe in me, and believe that I can become a more competent horsewoman, I am able to believe it of myself, because I can finally see it happening. I can hardly wait to be able to give someone else that same chance. <br />
I have come to believe that God wants me to have horses in my life. He has opened these doors for me so that I can live better... live joyfully... and learn to love the person I am becoming. For that, I am so very thankful. <br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-44415628852313872662013-04-03T08:16:00.001-04:002013-05-21T00:27:33.695-04:00Health from a Different Perspective; Chiropractic Medicine and General ConferenceHello, friends!<br />
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As many of you know, I spend a great deal of my time in search of health, happiness, and the ability to see myself as a divine being; a daughter of my Heavenly Father. Unfortunately, most of the time, I become mired in this human experience and don't make much progress. I'm sad to say that my self-image has been suffering as of late; I hope that the steps I'm taking now will improve it.<br />
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This past week, Chris and I have been seeing our chiropractor, a fantastic doctor and great friend. She is a member of the Church, and I just love the Spirit that resides wherever she goes. After I'd been adjusted, I asked her what I could do about my weight. One nutritional evaluation later, I am on a small regimen of supplements that have eased the nausea and fatigue that I deal with on a daily basis; a blessed relief, indeed!<br />
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This weekend is General Conference, a time that I look forward to with great anticipation. As a convert, I had never realized that women were not asked to pray, but I'm thrilled to be a member at this time. I have always believed that women have a voice in the Church that is equal to the priesthood. I'm grateful, however, that one of my sisters in Christ is being given the opportunity to pray for us all in the name of the Lord. <br />
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Aside from this momentous occasion, I'm looking forward to hearing from our Prophet and his apostles, among others. There is a love and hope that I feel during Conference that is almost tangible, that comes with the knowledge and the affirmation that I am beloved of God, and that my sins are atoned for in Christ Jesus, an affirmation that will hold me fast to my strengthened testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. <br />
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Have a blessed week, everyone. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-46455829147599424972013-03-10T21:47:00.001-04:002013-03-10T21:47:15.475-04:00New home, new beginnings...Today was my first as a member of the Flint ward. When I was there two weeks ago, I was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar face at the door, an Elder whom Chris and I welcomed into our home many times in the first few weeks of his mission. We're certainly feeling blessed to be the ones to send him home with honor as well! This morning, though, felt different. The Spirit was amazing; I felt like I do sometimes in Conference, as though the talks were written especially for me. It was a wonderful welcome, that's for sure. <br />
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I'm getting a little nervous about our financial situation, but I know something will come along. If I've learned anything since my marriage, it's that I've joined up with a very blessed (and peculiar) people. When my husband exercises his priesthood authority in prayer, Heavenly Father takes notice. Sometimes I feel as though I'm just sitting there in amazement, watching mountains move. <br />
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Last week, when I attended the temple, I was in the grip of a deepening depression. I thought "If I can just get to the temple, I'll be all right..." I am convinced that my husband's prayers on my behalf in that sacred place pulled me out of what could have been a crippling downward spiral... I've not felt its' effects since. <br />
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I know it won't always be easy, and I hope I'll be able to visit my family often, but I am so glad we're here. I know it is the Lord's will, and I am so happy to know that we're following His plan.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-77434688758074163022013-01-20T06:04:00.002-05:002013-01-20T06:04:39.529-05:0031... now what???Hello, all. <br />
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Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 31, an age which I have never bothered to imagine myself. Why? Well... because...<br />
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(i was supposed to have everything figured out by 30.)<br />
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Wait... what was that?? Oh, right. I was supposed to have everything figured out by 30. Husband, career, kids, horse, all that stuff. Hahahahahaha... well, at least I've got one out of four, right?<br />
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Also, I have decided on a career, I just can't make it happen right now. I want to get my realtor's license and specialize in historic property sales. I also want to sharpen my genealogical skills and work for the Church. So far, I need a wee bit more education, and a (much) closer proximity to Salt Lake City. <br />
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Kids. Well, all I can say about them is, we're open to the possibility. It's totally up to Heavenly Father when though, and this year, I'm not stressing. <br />
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Horse. I know what I want. I want a sane, sound, sweet older gelding with a smooth gait to be a trail and local show buddy. I'm no longer a breed snob. I still dream of the day when I will see my name on a stall containing a pureblood Friesian, but I'll settle for a cross breed. Heck, I'll settle for a Heinz 57, as long as he's strong and kind and has a peanut rolling canter and an easy jog. This also requires a closer proximity to SLC, since that is where we want to settle. I get fairly sick imagining the cost of moving not only all of our belongings, but a horse 2,000 miles, and it's enough to make me thank the Lord that I don't yet have a horse of my own. I certainly wouldn't mind a lease, though, once this darn foot heals!<br />
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Here's to what's sure to be an amazing year. <br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-47645538799798252822012-12-31T09:59:00.000-05:002012-12-31T10:01:00.032-05:00Taking Criticism with Love: A Bitter Pill to SwallowI was given some criticism yesterday that hurt me to the quick. Brothers and sisters, I'm trying my very best to be gracious, and to realize that what was said was done so out of love. I'm also trying to get beyond myself and get to the kernel of truth within the criticism. Maybe you can help. Here is what was said, as best as I can remember it:<br />
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"Sister McGinnis, why do you think you have so much trouble with the jobs you undertake?" <br />
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What I heard: Sister McGinnis, you are lazy, and you complain too much and make up too many excuses.<br />
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The truth: Ever since I resigned from the program I was working for when I first moved here, I've had to take the first jobs that came along. I accepted the hospital job because it was close to home and the pay was better. I wasn't very good at it though; I knew it, and so did everyone else. Going to work made me so nervous that I developed IBS, and jumped every time someone called my name. I never quit that job, just transferred to Dr. Feder's office... and life was so good there. Doc was kind and patient, and constantly looked out for the health and happiness of his staff. When he had a stroke, I cried for a week. I applied for no less than 30 jobs, between doctor's offices and hospitals. OMG! was the only retail application I put in, and they are the only ones who called me back. Thus, I am a retail manager. Considering the health issues I'm dealing with, between the MS, the fibromyalgia, and the chronic headaches caused by hydrocephalus, isn't it obvious why I would have issues with standing for 8 hours at a time and trying to motivate teenage workers who just want to stand there and look pretty?<br />
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"I've dealt with some of the people you've dealt with, and I don't get the same animosity from them that you do."<br />
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What I heard: You are oversensitive.<br />
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The truth: Yep, I am, and I know it. But show me one abuse survivor who isn't. Show me one who doesn't run from confrontation. I cannot stand to be yelled at, disapproved of, or talked down. When I asked my husband about the person in question, he said "I've heard it. She's nice to me, but there's a tone in the back of her throat that says 'I was just a total B to your wife, but I'm going to tone it down for you because I can't push you around like I can her.'" To the brother who said this to me: OF COURSE she doesn't talk to you like she talks to me... you're the one writing the blessed check. <br />
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So I'm a doormat. Sorry. I'm working on it. I've been working on it for years.<br />
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"Sister McGinnis, we can give you a calling. But what's to say that in three months, you won't be miserable again?"<br />
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What I heard: Sister McGinnis, if we give you a calling, what's to say that you'll actually show up and do it?<br />
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The truth: Yes, I am unhappy here. But not having a place in the Church is only making my unhappiness worse. This last year has felt like 365 days of headache and heartache and bad luck. I feel as if I didn't pray enough before I came home; that I did what I wanted to do, and didn't listen to Heavenly Father's plan for me. Though I wasn't terribly happy in Michigan, things were turning around. I was working in the temple and being blessed for it. I had found a wonderful riding instructor and friend with a kind and healing band of horses to love. I had finally found my place in the Grand Blanc ward. We should have stayed.<br />
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But now we are here, and I have to make the best of it. I have to find within myself the strength to hand it over to my Father and say "I've made a terrible mess. Please fix it. Please fix... me." I don't do well with being so far from a temple. It's as if a life-giving source has been taken from me. I pine for the peace that I could always find within those walls. I believe that I'm meant to be a Utah Mormon, with a temple in my back yard. Does that make me a bad person, because I don't function as well or as happily without regularly participating in those sacred ordinances? Really?<br />
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To anyone who feels the same way about me as this brother: Please accept my apologies. I have not been doing my very best, and for that, I am sorry. I hope I have made myself clear, and I acknowledge that no harm was meant. I look forward to proving you wrong, and hope that you do, too. <br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-50420515143993019832012-12-18T06:05:00.000-05:002012-12-18T06:05:16.350-05:00In the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy, all I have been able to do is pray. I can't begin to understand the depth of the grief and loss that so many parents and loved ones are experiencing right now, but I come to the table with the perspective of one who has suffered with mental illness for a great many years. It's not something I like about myself, but it is something I have learned to live with, if not control. <br />
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At it's best, my illness manifests in small quirks: OCD-type eccentricities that don't really get in the way of my life, except to make me waste time. Middle ground is where I'm usually standing, more stressed out than I should be, and more fatigued than anyone ought to be. Even then, there is a sane part of me that reminds me I ought to get back to school for a new career, or keep looking for something less stressful than retail management. My family and friends keep me in check, and if I don't get too panicked, I'm generally okay.<br />
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At it's worst, however, my illness is a terrifying thing. It has lead to self-mutilation, self-medication, hospitalizations, shock therapy, and suicide attempts that left my parents wondering who would care for me when they were no longer of this world. Thankfully, I have not been there in a long time. Hopefully, I will never be there again. <br />
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I have never been able to understand homicidal tendencies. I have always turned my anger in on itself. The only person who has ever had cause to fear me... is me. It has taken me a long time to learn to love and accept myself, but perhaps it's because I have struggled so much to gain that love and acceptance that I can't begin to understand where this lack of respect for the sanctity of life is coming from. I don't care what kind of problems you have, there is always a way out that doesn't involve violence against yourself or anyone else. <br />
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I can remember what it feels like to lose my mind; to feel like reality was going on somewhere else, somewhere apart... and without me. Even with that realization and understanding, there is no level of insanity so deep as to justify the crimes that have taken place. All that is left to do is pray for those who have lost loved ones... and to pray for each other... that we might try to help each other out a little more... that we might try to be more caring towards one another. Are we not all just looking for reasonable happiness in this life? Can we not be more kind, and in so doing, make that reasonable happiness all the more attainable for each other? <br />
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Or have we fallen so far from grace that we only care about ourselves?<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-29356277507741786322012-10-20T12:36:00.001-04:002012-10-20T14:55:15.396-04:00Introversion, Self-Loathing, and SurvivalThis post is inspired partly by a friend of mine. K, thank you. <a href="http://dorkdot.tumblr.com/post/33939135857/an-introverted-letter-to-extroverts" target="_blank">Read her blog here. </a> <br />
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I like to pretend I'm not bipolar. I like to think "hey, I've got a handle on this, really." I mean, I've been med-free for five years, so that should mean something, right? Wrong. The only reason I'm okay is because I've got an untold number of prayers and blessings to support me. And because I talk everything out in my head.<br />
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Occasionally, I have to say 'No, you don't want to do that, people will think you're crazy,' or 'According to the DSM-V, that's a psychotic behavior. Stop it.' Sometimes I walk away from a potential conversation because the psychological pain caused by the potential rejection is far too great. I'd probably have more friends if I could just get beyond the fear.<br />
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Interestingly enough, I have a far easier time talking to people I don't know. I think a part of me figures 'I will probably never have to see this person again! YAY!! I can be myself!!!'<br />
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Acquaintances cause the most trouble. It's as if there are a thousand fire ants crawling along my nerves; I blush, I stammer, and I probably sound less intelligent than I actually am, but what you don't know is, I'm in an intense amount of pain, and am debating whether I should come across as rude and leave, or stay and vomit on your pretty shoes. I <3 shoes, so most of the time, I excuse myself. You're welcome.<br />
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There are a few reasons besides the mental illness that have led me to be this way. I was raped at 17, and am friends with a dear lady who still keeps in touch with my attacker. If she mentions his name, I go into shock: my heart races, I get pale(r), my hands get clammy, and I feel as though I've been kicked in the gut. I try not to dwell on that situation too long; it was an immense betrayal, I am not "over it" and probably never will be. However, most of the time, I don't even think about it, and I am doing the best I can. Yes, I have flashbacks, yes I have an irrational distrust in most men, yes, I am dealing with PTSD, and some days it takes all I have to just survive... but I'm still here. <br />
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A few years ago, I was on a very successful diet, but I started to sabotage myself the closer I got to my goal. Why? Because someone looked at me the way he had, and it freaked me out to the point that I started gaining again. Now here I am, back where I started, thinking 'Is this how it's going to be always?' I hope not. <br />
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I am immensely grateful for the love and kindness shown to me by my wonderful husband; he knows all I have been through, he knows it occasionally screws with me, and he knows how to talk me down from all sorts of ledges. I have been blessed every day since he found me. <br />
<br />
It's incredibly difficult to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and hate yourself. It happens less and less, as I allow myself to be immersed in the atoning sacrifice of Christ, but I have my moments. If you come across me on a bad day, you'll know it... at least now, you understand why. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-22015497423169467522012-09-06T04:52:00.003-04:002012-09-07T07:49:28.357-04:00Becoming Whole... One Day at a TimeThere have been a succession of things in my life over the last month-and-a-half that have given me an irrevocable testimony in the gospel of Jesus Christ as it has been restored in these latter days. I have walked through some places I had hoped to never see again, places of utter self-loathing and unforgiving darkness. I did this of my own free will, turning and running from the grace of my Heavenly Father because I feared His disappointment in me, and because of my own hurtful pride regarding the sins of my past. <br />
<br />
Thanks to the prayers of friends I didn't realize I had, the divine guidance afforded an inspired bishopric, and two saintly women called to be my visiting teachers, my husband and I are once again active in our ward, and I am determined to become the woman I have wanted to be since I emerged from the waters of baptism. Not a Molly Mormon, but someone more true to the gifts I posses. <br />
<br />
I am determined to love as completely as I possibly can; to truly take upon myself the name of Christ, and to let the joy I experience as a member of this Church shine forth every day.<br />
<br />
I am letting go of attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs about myself that have not served me well in the past. <br />
<br />
I am pouring my free time into a study of Scripture and the teachings of the Prophets. I know my faith will be shaken again in these imperfect days, but my hope is that I stand more firmly next time.<br />
<br />
Thank you all for joining me in the journey.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-73217379425009685892012-07-17T03:54:00.002-04:002012-07-17T03:54:52.359-04:00Johnnycake for Joseph, New Meds, and More Sleep...I fully acknowledge that I have not written for nearly two months, but I've been under an immense amount of stress in which I did not wish to be vulnerable and place my thoughts and actions under this microscope for all the world to see.<br />
<br />
I have realized a few things about myself that I don't necessarily like, and some others that I'm grateful for as I've made some stupendously wrong decisions over the last six weeks. Pay attention, and don't make my mistakes. <br />
<br />
1. Don't leave your dream job for one with a description that uses words like "multi-tasking," "multi-line phone system" and "fast-paced environment" if you want to avoid adding to your stress. Forgo the hyphens altogether and be content with a lesser paycheck.<br />
<br />
2. The temple is NOT the place to catch up on your zzz if you've worked a succession of 2:30-11 shifts. You can try and say you're resting in the Lord, and it may look for all intents and purposes as though you are praying, but the temple workers know... and HE knows. Thou hath some repenting to do. <br />
<br />
3. When depression sets in, don't put your Scriptures away and stop praying. That's when you need to rely on the ability to communicate with Heavenly Father, and He so yearns to listen to you. Don't turn away, thinking that He'd rather not help you. (This is easier said than done, I know.)<br />
<br />
4. When someone offends you, whether it be in the Church or just generally, pray for them. It's not hurting them if you just get angry and fume silently, and you need to find the strength somewhere to forgive them. (I am STILL working on this one!)<br />
<br />
5. Even if you haven't had an FHE in months, even if you have a great idea for one and don't do it on the day you'd like to for whatever reason... do it now. The spiritual benefits are still yours for the enjoying. For example, I had wanted very much to have an FHE celebrating Joseph Smith's life on the anniversary of his martyrdom. That didn't happen. I wanted to have an FHE on the anniversary of Emma's birthday and celebrate all the contributions she made to the early Church. That didn't happen, either. However, last night, I made a recipe entitled "Joseph Smith's Johnnycake" in memory of the prophet, and my husband read a talk by President Uchtdorf that related Emma's patriarchal blessing to the women of the Church today. Was it as fabulous as either of the FHE's I had planned previously? Probably not, but it served to get my husband and I talking about spiritual things, and I got to bake while considering the life of the Prophet of the Restoration and his lovely bride, both of whom I love as though they are with me today. <br />
<br />
6. If you are ill and you know something is wrong, please go to the doctor. Don't put it off for months, thinking that it will just disappear. For example, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in February. This is July, the month in which I finally told someone how much I was suffering. Two cheap, generic medications and one week later, I am experiencing less pain, and have more energy. I also made it a point to ask my husband for a blessing of comfort, which helps tremendously, and allows him to exercise his priesthood authority. I should have at least been doing this all along. <br />
<br />
7. Finally... get enough rest. Life will go much better for you if you get enough sleep. Yes, I am up at quarter to four, but I also went to bed at 6:30 PM for the simple reason that I could keep my eyes open no longer. I intend on getting another hour of sleep before my day officially begins, too! <br />
<br />
Good night!.... errr... morning! <br />
<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-87503518298868751382012-05-25T05:23:00.001-04:002012-05-25T05:23:35.212-04:00Looking Back to Move ForwardThis past week, I've been thinking a lot on my role in the Church. I've considered the events that have transpired since the days of my investigation, some miraculous; others mundane, but all have made me who I am in Christ. <br />
<br />
When I think on the early days of my conversion, they seem to my memory to be halcyon days where the Spirit strove with me. I think about my conversations with the missionaries, many of whom became my dear friends. I remember the loving-kindness of my ward family and best friend, who supported me as others turned away. When my bishop blessed me to be able to endure the three weeks before my baptism, he cautioned that they would be some of the most difficult days of my life. In those three weeks, I considered that I could lose the love of my mother and the man I thought I would marry. I was right about one of them. <br />
<br />
When I consider the tenacity to which I held to the gospel then, I wish I could go back and re-live some things since. I would like the chance to do better... be better. A few days ago, my husband asked me what I would have changed about my wedding and reception if I could. When I was completely honest with myself, I acknowledged that there really wasn't much. I wish my sister-in-law hadn't had a massive headache and had been in a better mood. I wish my sister had been feeling better. I wish the music would have worked. I wish I hadn't ticked off my matron of honor the day before the wedding. Above all, I wish I had put my foot down about the dress I really wanted (it didn't have a gigantic bow in the back that made me feel like a Clydesdale mare in a parade). Still, try as I might, I can't go back and change the fact that my family was angry with me for marrying in the temple, a situation that marred the day far more than my butt-enhancing bow.<br />
<br />
These past few months, as my husband and I have struggled mightily with finances, Church callings and employment issues, I have come to rely on the sealing power that binds us. If we had waited to marry in the temple, I'm not sure what would have happened. I'm grateful that we had the desire and the strength to do things in the Lord's time. Besides, there's nothing that says we can't renew our commitment to one another in a few years, and I promise you, the dress will be Molly Mo fabulous! <br />
<br />
As much as I wish I could change the past, I can't. I can't change the fact that there have been times when I have been less than Saintly, or fallen flat on my face because I haven't given my best effort. I can, however, repent, casting off the dross of sin and sorrow I've lingered on at times. I can rejoice in the atoning power of Christ, and be thankful for the covenant-affirming balm of the Sacrament. I can spend time in the Scriptures, learning more about the sacrificial love of my Savior... and by the grace of God, at some point in this whole refining process, I can forgive myself. I am the only one holding me back from grace and peace. I think it's time I let myself look forward with faith that, through Christ, I can become someone even better than the best I once was. Brothers and sisters, let's flourish together, shall we?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-40302509095252268192012-05-14T10:20:00.001-04:002012-05-14T10:20:48.161-04:00Wives, Contend with Your Husbands!I hope that caught your attention. <br />
<br />
Over the past few days, I have become increasingly irked by the posts of a friend of mine decrying the institution of marriage as a sacred covenant between man and wife. I'm not upset with him because of his assertion that gays should have rights; that's another issue altogether. I am, however, very disappointed in the route he has taken in an attempt to make me feel as though my marriage is outdated. One of the issues he focused on was Ephesians 5:22, which reads: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." What most people think of when they hear this passage is not of submission, but subservience. <br />
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For example, because of my faith, I believe in the power of the priesthood which my husband holds. This priesthood power entitles him to revelation for our family concerning spiritual and temporal matters, and I am fully prepared to accept his counsel in such things after we have taken time to pray together. I am submitting to the will of my husband only after he has submitted to the will of our Heavenly Father. However, if I come home exhausted after working a 16-hour day, and the first thing he does when I walk though the door is to ask me to make him dinner a la June Cleaver, I'm going to have a little problem with that. And it's not going to happen. <br />
<br />
The opposite of submission is not progress. It's not even equality. It's contention. I know from experience that when I am being contentious, Chris is suddenly no longer my best friend with whom I want to spend eternity. He becomes my sparring partner, and the words I hurl at him don't make me feel powerful. They make me feel weak and small-minded. If I have let myself become upset to the point of contention, it's because I haven't communicated well. Instead, I've assumed that he won't listen or doesn't understand. I haven't even given him the benefit of hearing what I have to say. <br />
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Let's look at the husband's role in all of this. Ephesians 5:25 says "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it." So...your husband is to love you so completely that he would lay down his life for you if necessary. In return, you are to respect the priesthood which he holds (if he does), respect his walk with the Lord and his ability to receive revelation from the Holy Spirit, and counsel with him on those matters. It doesn't make you less of a woman to respect your husband. He is, after all, the man you love, the one you have chosen to spend at least this life. He should be your best friend. Be sweet. Be kind. And if your husband loves you as he should, there is nothing he won't do for you. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-56084533692595472622012-05-09T11:52:00.000-04:002012-05-10T14:39:56.888-04:00Sick and Tired of Being Sick and TiredThe more I read her blog, the more I am certain that <a href="http://www.untypicallyjia.com/" target="_blank">Jia</a> and I should be best friends. Today in a sort of roundabout way, I was challenged to "pour my heart out."<br />
<br />
Here goes nothing. <br />
<br />
Most of you know that I struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I have come to terms with these issues, and while we're not the best of friends, I can stand to be in somewhat close proximity to them without going off the deep end...anymore. <br />
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A few months ago, a neurologist I worked with diagnosed me with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Even though I wake up every day tired and in pain, I refuse to accept this. However, considering how many times in the last year that I've been taken down by respiratory infections, nausea, fevers, migraine headaches and general malaise, I have to admit that it doesn't look good for self-denial. <br />
<br />
I don't look sick. Every morning, I struggle to get out of bed, and I think of something my mother used to say when I complained of not feeling well: "Clean your room, you'll feel better." Except that my room is clean, because my husband does the housework. So, I get up and come in to work, and cry on the way home because my job isn't paying all the bills and I have no health insurance in this state to see a doctor who might be able to help with the weight and the infertility and the pain and the tiredness, and I find myself sliding into depression so deep I just want to sleep because when I sleep, the pain goes away...<br />
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It'a a vicious cycle. <br />
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And to be honest, I don't see a way out of it. I have to work. I have to find a way to exist beyond the pain and keep pushing myself to do better; do more if I ever want to get out of debt... but at what physical cost?<br />
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The only place I know of where I could exist pain-free is Utah. I don't know why this is, whether it's the higher altitude, thinner air, abundance of sunshine, or someone dumping mass quantities of happy pills into the water supply. I know I need to get there someday, and I hope someday is soon. I don't know how much longer I can stand to feel this way day in and day out.<br />
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<br />
Linked to <a href="http://thingsicantsay.com/2010/03/pour-your-heart-out-with-me.html" target="_blank">Pour Your Heart Out</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-66356481767720259632012-05-04T12:40:00.000-04:002012-05-04T12:40:08.107-04:00Abuse and NeglectI have been woefully neglectful of this blog. I admit it. It's not as if I haven't had things to write about, but more that I didn't really want to detail and expound upon the downward spiral I have been on for the last month. <br />
<br />
April has always been a difficult month for me. For some reason, it's the month in which I am absolutely and unequivocally reminded of the chemical imbalance that lends itself to my depression and anxiety issues. This year, I have been plagued by headaches, the likes of which I haven't known in a long while. For those of you who suffer with migraines, you know what I'm talking about. <br />
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My job is difficult, more difficult than I ever thought it would be, but I love the work. I decompress by talking things over with my husband, and, as was the case last night, spending some quality time with an equine friend. Sometimes I think about what life will be like when I am out in Utah, and how amazing it would be to host a rehab program for survivors of abuse (both equine and human). Connecting with horses has done more for me in the last two years than the countless hours I have spent in counseling. There is something immensely healing about the trust that exists between horse and rider, and the knowledge that neither of you will make any progress without trusting the other. <br />
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As for my faith, I'm glad to say that my testimony has not wavered, despite the mental attacks I have been going through for the last month. What has faltered is my ability to do everything. <br />
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I am no Molly Mormon. <br />
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Wow, that stung a little. <br />
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I tend to hold myself up to standards I would never expect from anyone else. For my work to be exemplary, as well as for my house to be spotless, meals to be flawless, Church callings magnified to the nth degree... you see where I'm going with this. <br />
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Well, my work must be exemplary, and my callings must be magnified. But admitting to myself that "the rest is just details" has been a chore. <br />
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This weekend, if the current migraine goes away, I will be planting sunflowers in our community garden. The worst is over, and I feel like playing in the dirt. <br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-22651955789978208502012-03-28T08:33:00.000-04:002012-03-28T08:33:15.368-04:00Goodbye, my friend...Yesterday, I received news that a friend of mine was in a coma. This morning, I saw that he had passed away. My heart aches for his family. When I saw him last, he was preparing to go on a mission. I suppose I comforted myself with the idea that he and the other members of my first ward family were going along, happily progressing in the Gospel...<br />
<br />
How often do we really stop and think about those we have left behind? How often do we consider that all may not be well in Zion? And if we are bent on keeping our baptismal promises, why does it take a serious illness or death to shake us up and force us to consider those we love? It shouldn't. <br />
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As for my friend, he will be missed very dearly. I can only imagine that Heavenly Father had a greater work for him. Still, a bright light has gone out for those of us here. <br />
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Heavenly Father, please send Thy Spirit to comfort all those who have been affected by Zach's death, especially his family and close friends. We acknowledge Thy will in all things, and we know that Thou will bear this burden with us. Please cover us with Thy mercy and grace. In Jesus' name, Amen. <br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-15063126503885714392012-03-16T11:24:00.000-04:002012-03-16T11:24:17.890-04:00Still Surviving...You may have noticed the new badge on my page from Unsilence the Violence and wonder why I've added it. Because I am a survivor of rape, as well as a survivor of incest and molestation. I didn't admit it when I got this job as a victim advocate, and I'm not going to go into a great deal of detail here, either. What I want to talk about today is the healing that comes about through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As I taught a lesson last night in Institute about the grace afforded us through the Atonement of Christ, I silently gave thanks to my Lord and Savior for how His Atonement has worked in my life. I am no longer bound by what happened to me. I know it happened, and it was hell to get through, but I am separate from it now. I can see how my Heavenly Father worked in my life to give all things (even the awful, painful things) a purpose in His divine plan for me. Of course He didn't "make" it happen; we have free agency. When we use our agency for evil against others, that is our choice, not His. It took me a long time to realize this, and to stop blaming Him for everything that had gone wrong in my life. Now, I am simply thankful that He carried me through those dark days and set me in a place of safety and complete love. He can do the same for you. No matter what you are going through, He will uphold you. Please don't lose faith. </div>
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<br /></div>
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If you or someone you know has been victimized, please tell someone. The longer you wait, the more you suffer needlessly. If you need prayer for courage, let me know. My husband and I will pray for you, and I will submit your name to the temple, where hundreds of faithful Saints can pray for you as well. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In the Ohio Valley: </div>
<div>
Sexual Assault Help Center: 304-234-1783</div>
<div>
Victim Assistance Program, Ohio County: 304-234-3896</div>
<div>
Victim Assistance Program, Brooke County: 304-737-2515</div>
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Victim Assistance Program, Hancock County: 304-564-4277</div>
<div>
Footsteps Christian Counseling: 304-242-8095</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
National Hotlines: </div>
<div>
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1800-273-8255</div>
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RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network): <a href="http://www.rainn.org/" target="_blank">www.rainn.org</a></div>
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<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-10069208168808700192012-03-10T11:16:00.000-05:002012-03-10T11:16:56.312-05:00Here I am!I have been remiss in posting! So much has been going on lately... our new ward is wonderful, and I love my job. We will only be in our current apartment for a year; it's really too expensive. Under the circumstances, though, it was the best I could do. The gas companies are buying up so many of the rental properties that it was really hard to find something that wasn't falling down around my ears. <br />
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In any case, I'm back in the blogosphere, if only sporadically for a while. It's nice to be back!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-55842771722289558712012-02-20T08:30:00.000-05:002012-02-20T08:30:05.226-05:00Total SurrenderEvery day, I struggle with things that are beyond my control. My weight has become something I cannot manage without the help and support of others and complete reliance on my Heavenly Father. There is a protocol I must follow when I care for my clients; I can put them in the right place so that they can be helped and healed, but I cannot take away their suffering. Even though there are days when I positively long to be a mother, I cannot will it to happen. <br />
<br />
I know in my heart that if I can overcome my natural tendencies to comfort myself with food and make more of an effort to obey the Word of Wisdom (the do's, not just the don'ts!) that I will become healthier. <br />
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I know in my heart that if I do all I possibly can for my clients, continually lifting them up in the name of Jesus Christ, the Atonement will cover and heal them in ways I can't begin to know. <br />
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I know in my heart that right now is not a good time to have a baby. I also know that Chris and I will be parents someday, in the Lord's time. <br />
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I know the voice of my Father. He speaks to me of patience and the joy that is to come. He speaks of the Celestial glory that will be ours if we abide fully in the everlasting covenant. He tells me that I am precious to him; that I have been brought forth in this dispensation for a great work. I believe him. <br />
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There is another voice, though. This voice belittles my efforts, enumerates my faults and takes delight in my failings. This voice would have me believe that I will die an early death for lack of willpower. That nothing I do can ease the suffering of the brokenhearted people that come through my door. That I will never be a mother. This voice tells me nothing but lies. <br />
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Like Nephi, I will give place no more for the enemy of my soul. I will rejoice in the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me discern between right and wrong. I will surrender all, and in that surrender, I will become someone new. Someone who doesn't tear herself down. Someone who sees the divinity within and loves herself more because of it. I recognize and take comfort in the plans of my Heavenly Father. He has never mislead me, and He never will. <br />
<br />
"Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, <em>but if not. …
</em>Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, <em>but if not … </em>.
He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, <em>but if not. …
</em>Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, <em>but
if not. … </em>He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones,
<em>but if not, … we will trust in the Lord." --</em>Elder Dennis E. Simmons<div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-57784419275894460932012-02-12T20:22:00.001-05:002012-02-12T20:22:45.392-05:00Nephi's Psalm... My Psalm...Today was my first Sunday in a new ward. Appropriately, the first person to welcome me was Brother Angel. From the moment I took his hand, I had an overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be fine. During Sunday School, a very smiley toddler decided that I was the perfect choice for a new best friend, and spent most of the hour playing peek-a-boo with me. In Relief Society, I was given the opportunity to bear my testimony, and several sisters took it upon themselves to help me in my house search. The bishop was extremely happy that my husband and I are temple worthy and have reliable transportation, as many of his flock have gone inactive for want of a vehicle. <br />
<br />
No one in Wheeling has heard of Shelf Reliance. I am ecstatic that Chris and I will be able to be the ones to tell them about it!<br />
<br />
As I sit here tonight, I'm thinking about the Psalm of Nephi. While I in no way think that I have the strength of Nephi, I wish I were more like him, and I can definitely understand where he was coming from with some of these verses: <br />
<br />
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.20">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="20"> </a><span class="verse">20 </span>My God hath been my <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote31" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=20a&lang=eng">support</a>; he hath led me through mine <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote32" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=20b&lang=eng">afflictions</a> in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.21">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="21"> </a><span class="verse">21 </span>He hath filled me with his <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote33" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=21a&lang=eng">love</a>, even unto the <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote34" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=21b&lang=eng">consuming</a> of my flesh.</div>
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<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="22"> </a><span class="verse">22 </span>He hath confounded mine <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote35" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=22a&lang=eng">enemies</a>, unto the causing of them to quake before me.</div>
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<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="23"> </a><span class="verse">23 </span>Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote36" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=23a&lang=eng">knowledge</a> by <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote37" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=23b&lang=eng">visions</a> in the night-time.</div>
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<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="24"> </a><span class="verse">24 </span>And by day have I waxed bold in mighty <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote38" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=24a&lang=eng">prayer</a> before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.</div>
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<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="25"> </a><span class="verse">25 </span>And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote39" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=25a&lang=eng">carried</a> away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.26">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="26"> </a><span class="verse">26 </span>O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote40" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=26a&lang=eng">visited</a> men in so much <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote41" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=26b&lang=eng">mercy</a>, <sup class="studyNoteMarker">c</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote42" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=26c&lang=eng">why</a> should my <sup class="studyNoteMarker">d</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote43" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=26d&lang=eng">heart</a> weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.27">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="27"> </a><span class="verse">27 </span>And why should I <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote44" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=27a&lang=eng">yield</a> to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote45" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=27b&lang=eng">temptations</a>, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my <sup class="studyNoteMarker">c</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote46" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=27c&lang=eng">peace</a> and afflict my soul? Why am I <sup class="studyNoteMarker">d</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote47" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=27d&lang=eng">angry</a> because of mine enemy?</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.28">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="28"> </a><span class="verse">28 </span>Awake, my soul! No longer <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote48" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=28a&lang=eng">droop</a> in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote49" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=28b&lang=eng">enemy</a> of my soul.</div>
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<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="29"> </a><span class="verse">29 </span>Do not <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote50" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=29a&lang=eng">anger</a> again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.</div>
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<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="30"> </a><span class="verse">30 </span>Rejoice, O my <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote51" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=30a&lang=eng">heart</a>, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote52" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=30b&lang=eng">rock</a> of my salvation.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.31">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="31"> </a><span class="verse">31 </span>O Lord, wilt thou <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote53" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=31a&lang=eng">redeem</a> my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote54" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=31b&lang=eng">sin</a>?</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.32">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="32"> </a><span class="verse">32 </span>May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote55" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=32a&lang=eng">heart</a> is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote56" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=32b&lang=eng">walk</a> in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.33">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="33"> </a><span class="verse">33 </span>O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote57" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=33a&lang=eng">righteousness</a>! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote58" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=33b&lang=eng">enemies</a>! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.34">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="34"> </a><span class="verse">34 </span>O Lord, I have <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote59" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=34a&lang=eng">trusted</a> in thee, and I will <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote60" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=34b&lang=eng">trust</a> in thee forever. I will not put my <sup class="studyNoteMarker">c</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote61" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=34c&lang=eng">trust</a> in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his <sup class="studyNoteMarker">d</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote62" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=34d&lang=eng">trust</a> in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="" name="35"> </a><span class="verse">35 </span>Yea, I know that God will give <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote63" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=35a&lang=eng">liberally</a> to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote64" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=35b&lang=eng">ask</a> <sup class="studyNoteMarker">c</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote65" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=35c&lang=eng">not</a> amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the <sup class="studyNoteMarker">d</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote66" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=35d&lang=eng">rock</a> of my <sup class="studyNoteMarker">e</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574#" id="footnote67" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=4&noteID=35e&lang=eng">righteousness</a>. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
<br /></div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
My own psalm would go something like this: </div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
<br /></div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
Thou hast proven Thy love for me</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
Thou hast set the course before me</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
Why then do I quake in fear</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
or pray to know Thy will</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
when Thy will is plain in my sight?</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
Thou has upheld me always</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
Thine eyes are upon me forever.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
I offer up my thanks to Thee</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
my prayer ascending</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
calming the flutter of my heart.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
Grateful am I for Thy constant care</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
and I give Thee</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
the fear</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
the worry</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
the pain</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
knowing that Thou will make of them </div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
something beautiful</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
as Thou hast done with all my life.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
Everlasting Father, I abide in Thy covenants</div>
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and Thou leadest me in the ways of peace. </div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
<br /></div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
Amen.</div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
<br /></div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/4.35">
<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-80976506421626260322012-02-04T10:54:00.001-05:002012-02-04T10:54:51.430-05:00Writer's Block...I want to apologize to the handful of you that read this blog. I have not been posting frequently, and I am sorry. My life has been moving so fast lately that when I sit down to write, I don't know where to start! Before I know it, a week has passed and I haven't posted anything. <br />
<br />
I have a few goals in mind for this coming week. I will be at my mother's for most of it, and I don't start work until the 13th. I am going to work on my family history; hopefully my Aunt Mary Jane can find some time to talk to me and share what she knows. <br />
<br />
I am also going to begin working on refinishing my Grandma's cedar chest. It used to be a beautiful piece of furniture; soon it will be again. I look forward to the day when it is used for more than the afghan Mom made me in college, and sits in a more prominent place than a corner of the basement. <br />
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I have a meeting with a potential landlord on Tuesday; hopefully everything will go well. <br />
<br />
In the midst of all of this, I am one frazzled girl. I'm sure you can understand how it came to be that this blog was neglected. I promise that I will write more when things calm down. :)<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-13641047457393388812012-01-29T23:35:00.001-05:002012-01-29T23:35:33.750-05:00Working in the Temple<br />
Yesterday was our last day as workers in the Detroit temple. Try as I might, I could not stop time. The more I prayed, the faster it seemed the time flew. Thankfully, I was not asked to relinquish my name badge. It remains pinned to my dress as if to say "You'll need me again someday." I wonder if my husband feels similarly about his white jacket? <br />
<br />
It was working in the temple that enabled me to slow down and see my blessings for what they were. It was working in the temple that gave me the patience to strive at a job I could hardly stand, and the strength to reach for something better. Time after time, patrons would say things like "You have no idea what you have done for me in this moment." They were right, I had absolutely no idea. There were days when it took everything I had to walk through those doors and let the world fall away, days when I was so preoccupied with my own struggle... but those moments of pure grace made my soul sing. <br />
<br />
I will miss working in the temple, but I look forward to the day when I can do so again. <div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-70273094617147459292012-01-21T07:58:00.001-05:002012-01-21T10:50:55.889-05:00Beginning Another ChapterWell, here it is. Just when I begin to feel comfortable and relax, Heavenly Father shakes my snow globe. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was interviewing for a job. It was 6 hours away, half an hour out of my hometown. I didn't think anyone would take me seriously, and to be honest, I was surprised to be asked for an interview. There was a second interview over the phone a week later, and it was here that I considered "wow, this must be more competitive than I thought." A week after that, one day after my thirtieth birthday, I got a very apologetic call from the girl who interviewed me. She said she had known that I was right for the job the day of my first interview, but she had so many other interviewees, she didn't think it was right to offer it to me right away.<br />
<br />
She should have. It would have done wonders for my anxiety these past few weeks.<br />
<br />
Here I am, getting ready to pack up enough clothes for a month and help my husband winnow my things a bit. Clothes that don't fit, no matter how much I love you, you are going to the clothing barn for someone else to wear and feel awesome. That includes you, wedding dress!<br />
<br />
There have been approximately four times in my life where I have directly felt the hand of God. This is one of those times. (For those of you who are interested in the other three, they were joining the Church, meeting my husband, and moving here.) It has been very difficult until recently to see the blessings I have here in Michigan. I recognize that my ward family here loves me like crazy, and not just because I'm Chris' wife. I'm thankful for my mother-in-law who gets my jokes, keeps me company when I am lonely and is gentle with my sometimes incomprehensible sadness, loving me through it as my own mother has done so many times. I'm thankful for the friends I have here who have helped me become a better version of myself than I could have ever hoped to be on my own. I am thankful to be so near a temple, wherein I can do the Lord's work. I have been so blessed to be a worker there, and I am grateful for the experiences of all-encompassing grace I have had within its walls. <br />
<br />
Now it's time to stretch and see how capable I have become. I know that being here has prepared me for something amazing, and I feel much the same as I did when emerging from the waters of baptism. Anything at all is possible. <br />
<br />
<i>Savior, may I learn to love thee,<br />Walk the path that thou hast shown,<br />Pause to help and lift another,<br />Finding strength beyond my own.<br />Savior, may I learn to love thee—<br />
Lord, I would follow thee.</i><br />
<br />
<i> Who am I to judge another<br />When I walk imperfectly?<br />In the quiet heart is hidden<br />Sorrow that the eye can’t see.<br />Who am I to judge another?</i><br />
<i>Lord, I would follow thee.</i><br />
<br />
<i>I would be my brother’s keeper;<br />I would learn the healer’s art.<br />To the wounded and the weary<br />I would show a gentle heart.<br />I would be my brother’s keeper—</i><br />
<i>Lord, I would follow thee.</i><br />
<br />
<i>Savior, may I love my brother<br />As I know thou lovest me,<br />Find in thee my strength, my beacon,<br />For thy servant I would be.<br />Savior, may I love my brother—</i><br />
<i>Lord, I would follow thee. </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Text:</i> Susan Evans McCloud, b. 1945. © 1985 IRI<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3666324371832401574" name="27"></a>
<i>Music:</i> K. Newell Dayley, b. 1939. © 1985 IRI<br />
<i>Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, #220</i> <br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3666324371832401574.post-589552503765875022012-01-19T21:46:00.001-05:002012-01-19T21:46:06.689-05:00Moohana and the One Cow Wife<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am not worth eight cows. I am worth one cow. Her name is Moohana, and she is filled with buckwheat and lavender, a "warm snuggly" for those naps I take when my husband is at work. Thankfully, we no longer barter bovines as a measure of our love, or I might feel jilted. However, according to the stuffed animals my husband has gifted to me over our courtship and marriage, I am worth three horses, one Pegasus, a panda bear, and three dragons. And Moohana. :)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><center><a href="http://ldslistings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.ldswallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LDSListingsQuareButton.png" alt="LDS Listings" width="150" /></a></center></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07450371420260785990noreply@blogger.com1